Is my ♥ really just made out of stone?

Hi! So there's something that has been bothering me for a while, or maybe not actually bothering me but it has just been stuck in my mind lately. I'm seventeen years old, turning eighteen in a few months and I've never been in love, not even a little. Isn't that kind of unusual? I'm sure there are lots of people my age that haven't either, but I'm sure they at least been in a relationship or have had some kind of feelings for someone else. To me, the chase after a guy is a lot more interesting. I've had things with guys both back in Sweden and here in the US but they almost always end with me not being interested anymore...The reason I'm bringing this up now is that I've been seeing this really sweet guy lately and we basically just hung out TWICE (which I really enjoyed) and I'm already bored, just don't want him anymore. And the second that feeling pops up in my head I can't get rid of it - it's literally like "OH MY GOD, WHY DID HE JUST TEXT ME? HE'S SO FUCKING ANNOYING!" Or "WHY DID HE JUST SMILE AT ME, EUW STOP!" And when it has come to this point, I just can't deal with it anymore - I need to get out of it. Another thing that definitely is relevant to this topic is my desire to always want guys I know I can't have. I've always wondered why, but since I started thinking about the fact that I get bored fairly easy, it totally makes sense that I would go for guys who are less available...Maybe it simply has gotten to a point when I've seen multiple couples gotten hurt when it comes to love and I unconsciously just won't let myself ever have feelings for a guy for that specific reason. Another thing that makes me not want to be in a relationship with another person is the lack of freedom and the feeling of being dependent on someone else - that really scares me. However, I'm sure I'm just immature and that things most likely will change in the future, but what if they don't? Then I'm really gonna die alone...By the way sorry for writing in English, but I've been watching a lot of Sex and the City lately and gotten a little too inspired by Carrie, writing her column about sex and relationship and all of those other things that'd be relevant to the subject. I'm retarded I know - bare with me! Forlat. Har far ni en pucko-bild av pucko-Matilda or should I say Sarah Jessica Parker?P U S S ♥

Don't worry...be happy...;-)

Hej! Du känner inte mig, vet inte riktigt hur jag kom in på din blog men den är jättehärlig.
Ville bara säga att EXAKT såhär är det för mig med. Killarna är jätteroliga och spännande fram tills att man vet att dom också känner något - och då ballar jag ur, vill bara bort från det typ. Gud. Va skönt att man inte var ensam om detta...